Oxford Street Health Warning

Advice to young tourists in London:
It is always busy in London streets, and particularly in Oxford Street, with its hordes of tourists, shoppers and workers. Remember that here it is impossible to walk in a straight line due to the sheer weight of numbers of people coursing on their way. One has to constantly make judgements and reassessments about the direction that the people ahead of you are taking and whether they are about to change their direction unexpectedly in a split-second - sometimes in mid-step - or if they even decide to stop dead in their tracks, or turn on their heels and reverse direction. All of this happens all the time. This entails much weaving and ducking and diving in order to accommodate the vagueries of a million pedestrians. Which makes it even more unbelievable to see so many young tourists sauntering along this bustling street, in this teeming metropolis, with their iPhones held inches from their uninterested faces, tapping in their text messages to their friends as if they were in their bedrooms at home. Or stepping blithely into roads, without heeding the traffic, as they stare mesmerised into their little slabs of glass and plastic. Come on, beautiful, young touristy people! Can't that wait until you are sitting in a cafe? And is it entirely necessary to do your texting while you are on the escalators in the tube stations? I fear that in the process so engrossed are you in your vital message to Sven or Olaf that many of you forget where you are and simply stop dead when you step off, causing everyone behind you to crush together in a perilous bottle-neck. Remember, there is a time and place for all things. Tap-Tap-Tap away, by all means - I am all for young people communicating their trifles if they must - but is your latest status update on Facebook really worth the possibility of maiming a perfect stranger?

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