My Tether (the End Reached, Thereof)

In the late afternoon I found myself in South Kensington, so I called into the French patisserie 'Paul', opposite the tube station. Once again it didn't disappoint in terms of good coffee, great food, and beautiful young staff. Today all the guys looked like they'd just stepped off a Bel Ami film set. [Gay reference]

As I waited for my lovely coffee to be lovingly made by the lovely hands of one of the lovely Bel Ami guys, I kept being snapped out of my reverie by the piercing shrieks of two young girls who were in the shop with their mother and their Philippina nanny. One was aged about eight and the other, a fat thing aged about six who was wedged into a pusher. It was the older girl who had the most piercing screech. Everybody cringed at the horrible noise, even my lovely Bel Amite. I then noticed that the mother had escaped to a table outside, leaving the nanny to deal with the little bastards. After enduring the din several more times, and turning to glare at the brats, to no avail, at the very next shriek I found myself growling, "Oh, for fuck's sake!" Lovely Bel Ami boy looked at me and said, "Yes! Really! It's too much!" At this, the Philippina nanny turned to the monsters and said, in a timid, ineffectual voice, "Stop it... Too much noise.... People don't like it." I said, "Yes, it really is dreadful!" Clearly exasperated, the nanny turned to me and said, "They won't listen to me. Maybe if you tell them they will listen." My Bel Ami fantasy now shattered irretrievably, I was more than happy to oblige. I put on my most schoolmasterly glower, raised my forefinger inches from each of their now sheepish faces and said, loudly and sternly, "No screaming!" And then I turned on my proud Mary Poppins' heel and marched upstairs, carrying my tray of coffee and quiche lorraine before me. A little later, Bel Ami boy came up to wipe some tables. He came over to where I was sitting and said, "Thank you! Oh! So noisy, those terrible children! Merde! They are well known in this area! So noisy, everywhere they go! No one can stop the noise!"

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