A Vile Beverage in Oxford Street

After braving the tourist Christmas horde in Oxford Street this morning, I stupidly entered the first coffee shop I found. I was served by what I assumed to be a nine year old girl, but she could have been a short young woman. Most unfortunately, this establishment turned out to be a Starbucks, a fact that I didn't realise until I had sat down with what was supposed to pass as my 'coffee' and looked up to see the most hideous mural scrawled on a blackboard: it featured a mermaid (evidently their trade mark image); she wore a crown on her very badly-drawn head. It is the first time in my entire life that I have ever been in one of their stinking establishments, and I apologise to readers of this who are more socially-and-ecologically-conscious than I happened to be on this one single occasion - forgive me! I bravely had two sips of the swill that foamed in the cardboard cup on my table. It was possibly the worst 'coffee' I have ever had the misfortune to pass between my lips. It was so truly repulsive that I dribbled the second mouthful back into the cardboard vessel. I then took it over to the bin and hurled it with some force into the bag, from whence, I sincerely hoped, it would pour its way all over the floor. This was a disgusting, depressing experience. It made me wonder how this franchise could have possibly reached its global status. Western people of planet Earth really are incredibly stupid, aren't they?

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